I have an Exam today…And it’s going to SUCK.
AboutI'm an ABC and this is where I vent and share my life stories. A little bit about myself is that I am an aspiring murse (male nurse), I play guitar, I love God, and although people see me as a goody 2 shoes I am above all...Human. So don't judge if I get angry or frustrated sometimes because Christians aren't perfect, only forgiven :) So I hope you guys enjoy my thoughts on life. K BYE. Oh yeah I also own the blog wtfoodge.com and I play ping pong.
I have an Exam today…And it’s going to SUCK.
So I left my notifications running to see how many happy birthdays I’d get. I think facebook starts getting funky at 99 because it went from 99 to 100 to 99 to 102 to 100, but every year it reminds me how awesome it is to have friends who would take their time to write a simple “Happy birthday”. I’ll be honest, a lot of times I don’t even bother to check the birthdays on my list. Anyway, my birthday was kind of lame but I’ve come to realize that I don’t like drawing attention to myself on my birthday. I’m not the type of person to plan a party and have a bunch of my friends come, although there was a time where a surprise birthday party was held for me. I’m not going to lie…I usually see surprises coming but that one year I had no idea that was going to happen and it was the most awesome thing ever.
This year I had the luxury of having 6 hours of class, and 2 hours of work. It was a very humbling birthday to say the least. Time and time again, I’m reminded that yes, this is the day I was born but my life is not lived for myself but for a greater purpose: God and others. After getting home, my mom bought lobster and other delicacies from the Chinese restaurant. I ate it, thanked her, and when to watch Inception with one of my close friends and his little brother. My mind is still boggled by the movie. I would talk more about it but I don’t want to ruin anything.
I am 20 and I am young, but it makes me wonder about my future. It feels like 20 years have flew by. I can say I’ve grown a lot but DANG that was fast. I feel like as a kid, time slows down because life is just fun and games, but as I grew up I have more responsibilities and more to think about. Kind of contradicts the statement that time flies when you’re having fun. k bye.
So I decided to post on my tumblr instead of that “qtjoel.com” website which ended up to be an epic fail on my part considering that I am a lazy baboon. So what’s been new with me?
So let me speak of my new guitar. It sounds beautiful…Compared to my old guitar which I named “Hok Guai” (pretty much a term used for black people in Chinese since my guitar was black) it resonates so well! The guitar was super expensive and I probably wouldn’t need a new guitar for another…10 or 15 years haha. Needless to say it also LOOKS amazing. I named it Wyllo in remembrance of my old dog…I hope my music makes her happy wherever she is.
Now my new phone. The phone (Droid Incredible) is so awesome and I can do anything I want with it, and I didn’t really care for the Android vs. iPhone war until I actually got the phone. Sweet dang, I without a doubt feel like Android is going to own iPhone in the upcoming years if not the next coming months unless Apple decides to do something CRAZY. The only complaint I have with the phone is that the battery life SUCKS. I am about to order a extended battery for me and my sister which will make our phones bulkier…But who gives a crap when the battery life lasts like 7 hours on heavy usage?!
I led worship for the first time ever and let me tell you it was harder than I thought! I am very used to playing by myself and leading small groups (and messing up), but when I’m playing with a group it makes it so much more difficult because I have to keep in consideration of the timing and what is expected so I can’t really just jump around verses and stuff unless I am saying so. I truly believe that my ability to play the guitar is a spiritual gift because I the moment I learned chords I could strum and sing to songs. I see people who struggle with that and I don’t understand why because that’s the norm…But I realized after this retreat that it may be indeed one of my spiritual gifts given to my by God’s grace, and apparently I can sing better than I thought. It has really been an encouragement to have my friends from church and in school encourage me about my voice. I am slowly but surely aiming to use these things God has blessed me with to bless others by leading worship at my church and such.
I am supposed to be studying now but I decided to write on my tumblr. I don’t know much about this tumblr shenanigans but it’s pretty simple so I’m just going to use it over wordpress. I’m taking anatomy and physiology 2 at City Tech in downtown Brooklyn. The teacher got an overall rating of about 1.4 on ratemyprofessor.com but I got the best grades in the class on the first lab and lecture exams. Of course there were other students who also had the same grade I got. I also realized summer classes are so much more awesome than regular fall/spring semester classes because I love cramming. I don’t know if it’s because the subject interests me so much but I am actually listening intently in all the lectures… I usually don’t do that. It surprises me how our bodies are SO very complicated. As a matter of fact I wouldn’t doubt for one second that our bodies are probably the most complicated and beautiful structures in the world. To know that our God has created us to work with all these body systems still amazes me. This class is the fundamental class for nursing and I can’t wait till I get into nursing school!
We recently got a dog named Dougie and this dog is so adorable. If he were a human I could imagine him as one of those people that would go through life being happy and enjoying every moment of it without a care in the world. Of course he would then be homeless because he wouldn’t want to work. Thank goodness we can support him. There is a picture of him below.
Since I’m back I decided to get myself involved more in church to really aim to live a Godly life. Next Sunday I’ll be doing conversational evangelism where I walk around Chinatown with a friend and talk to strangers about Christ. Yes I’ll be very uncomfortable but at the same time this is what I am called to do. A lot of things have been bothering my heart lately, and I would say a good chunk of it is forgiveness. I’ve been hearing a lot about forgiveness lately and about how we need to forgive those who have hurt me in the past. I’ve realized that all the people I have to forgive have to do with dating relationships I’ve been in, in the past. Those relationships have been over for some time now but to know I still have this burden bothers me. I really want to forgive, but I don’t know if I am fully there yet… My friend Peter Ong tweeted not so long ago and it really hit me what it said”
I am reminded that gospel forgiveness is costly. It requires a measure of absorbing the hurt done to you so the person can be redeemed.
I don’t really know what forgiveness is, because I can forgive but I know I won’t forget…But does that really count as forgiveness? I don’t know…Pray for me. I am very open to talk to those people that I have to forgive, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the chance to because I don’t even think they know I want to forgive them or that they think anything is wrong since things happened so long ago that they probably forgot about it. Whenever these people are ready to talk…Whenever God’s timing happens…I’ll be ready…I hope. Anywho, I’m just rambling now and I need to sleep. PEACE.